Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
