I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
