are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
