remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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