The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
jump out the window naked night went bad
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
