C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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