you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
