can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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