I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize