Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
