I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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