His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
