guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
