Why are handjobs necessary in class?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize