My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
