I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
