I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
