so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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