Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

(1-914): View more from New York

Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

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(718): View more from New York

Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!

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(631): View more from New York

Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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(314): View more from Missouri

she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this

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(336): View more from North Carolina

just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class

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(623): View more from Arizona

Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts

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(260): View more from Indiana

The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.

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(773): View more from Illinois

his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Did you put my shoes in the freezer.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.

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