I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
