You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize