jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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