I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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