Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
