You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
