it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
