you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
