He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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