I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
