guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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