Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
