yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
