i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
