The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
