If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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