Small penises have feelings too.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
