Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
