Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
