Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
