i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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