There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
