I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
