You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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