We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
