Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
