She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
