remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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