My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
