the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
