carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
