It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
