When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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