I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
