That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
