This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
