i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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