can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
