I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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