Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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