Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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