Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
