I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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