So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
