craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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