Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
is wine microwaveable?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
